The Republic of Toulumne River is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its parental licensing program, smutty television, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.671 billion Toulumne Riverians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 72.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Toulumne Riverian economy, worth 300 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 112,552 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Public incontinence is a growing problem amongst the nation's women, the countryside is shrouded by wind farms, replacement organs are grown in vats, and young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Toulumne River's national animal is the NPS, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Toulumne River is ranked 265,199^th in the world and 4,649^th in The East Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 40.94 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.